Gender Roles, Attraction, Sexuality (Being Coupled, Neurotic Tornado #28)

In this podcast episode, Jackie and I explore the non-traditional gender roles for two of the couples we interviewed. And we question what the labels mean in the first place. We look at attraction in this light. And I think I confess my attraction for a brooding vampire.

If you haven’t already done so, check out the previous episodes from this season, which dealt with sex, conflict, and started with introductions. Fun for the whole family! Actually, not the whole family… just the adults.

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The Sexpisode (Being Coupled, Neurotic Tornado #27)

In this podcast episode (third in the Being Coupled season), we… uhhh… actually… uhhh… try to talk about sex. With the couples we interviewed. And with our partners. But this stuff isn't easy. So we use a New York Times article about sex talk in therapy, along with a few other tools, to help navigate these sometimes-unsexy waters. After you listen to our conversation, check out the links below.

Links Related to Conversation
  • First Comes Sex Talk With These Renegades of Couples Therapy by Amy Sohn, from the New York Times: When she trains therapists, Dr. Nelson said: “I tell them to ask in the first session, ‘When was the last time you had sex, and how was it?’ We’re talking about couples here. Why would you not talk about sex? I tell them, If you’re not talking about sex, you’re perpetuating the idea that they shouldn’t be, and that just won’t help.”
  • The secret to desire in a long-term relationship (video). Video of Esther Perel’s TED talk: So in this dilemma about reconciling these two sets of fundamental needs, there are a few things that I’ve come to understand erotic couples do. One, they have a lot of sexual privacy. They understand that there is an erotic space that belongs to each of them. They also understand that foreplay is not something you do five minutes before the real thing. Foreplay pretty much starts at the end of the previous orgasm…
  • Time-based Sex (video). Yuvi’s video about… you know…
  • Neurotic Tornado #18: Sex and Marriage. Yuvi and wife talk about… you know…
  • Talk to us about being coupled!
General Podcast Information

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Communication & Conflict (Being Coupled, Neurotic Tornado #26)

In this podcast episode, we dig into how the four couples we interviewed communicate with each other, and what arguments look like for them. We use research from the Gottman Institute as the basis for some of our ideas about relationships and the different personality types in a relationship. Except we simplify it down to ‘avoider’ types and ‘prodder’ types. Stick this episode in your ear for more info! And check out the related links below…

The episode is longer than average (64 minutes), but hopefully you’ll find the discussion worth it. And you’ll ultimately learn what the phrase ‘sweet potato in the oven’ really means…

No couples were injured during the making of this episode.

Links Related to Conversation
General Podcast Information

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Meet the Couples (Being Coupled, Neurotic Tornado #25)

In this podcast episode, Jackie and I introduce you to the four couples we interviewed for this season. We share with you how they met and what they consider their “mission” as a couple. We had a great time putting this series together and we’re excited to finally get this thing into your… ears. So here we go, the first episode of the series…

We’d like to thank the four amazing couples who volunteered their time and their stories (and occasionally their living rooms) for this cause. (They barely even seemed bothered about all the times I apologized along the way.) We’d also like to thank the following peeps for the great feedback as Jackie and I stumble our way through this project: Cecily Patterson, Kristen Forbes, Jackie’s fabulous husband Bill, and my wife Sheri (who is also fabulous, and doesn’t usually mind my overuse of parentheses, and tolerated my overly-scripted conversation with her at the end of the episode).

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Behind the Scenes (Being Coupled, Neurotic Tornado #24)

In this podcast episode, we go behind the scenes to explain what is coming in season two. Jackie Shannon Hollis and I interviewed four couples to prepare for this season. You’ll hear why I’m doing it, why Jackie is doing it, and what my wife thinks about me podcast-cheating on her. The first official episode will drop in two weeks (July 1, 2015).

Links Related to Conversation

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Writing About Loved Ones (pod-23)

In this podcast episode, I visit with Jackie and Bill again. We discuss what it is like to write about the people we love, and how it affects them. Jackie is currently working on a (second) memoir and I’ve written lots of autobiographical-sounding fiction (along with a few essays). So apparently we can easily bullshit about this subject for over an hour. (I edited it down to 65 minutes.) It was again great to have Bill’s perspective so he could chime in on how it felt to be written about, even in cases that weren’t necessarily flattering. Give it a listen…


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Alone Time with Jackie and Bill (pod-22)

In this podcast episode, I take the Neurotic Tornado show on the road. 😣🌀

I visit with my friends Jackie and Bill to talk about a writer’s need for alone time, and how that goes over with the writer’s partner…


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The Attic Method (video)

Here’s a video about my attic, which is where I do most of my creative(ish) work. I hope you’ll agree with me (and not with my misguided wife!) that I have a real system to how I do things around here. I mean, it’s not so messy. Right? Right???

Want to see all my damn videos? Check them out here.

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