Crowdsourcing My Anxiety

Thank you. It is my Dad's 91st birthday today and I received a present from you, Yuvi. 

An advanced copy of your 'brilliant novel' and $20 of itunes. I am floored to read a book that doesn't come out until August 14th, 2012. And it's a real book that came in the mail. I'll take it to Mount St. Helens with me this week. What a delight. What a way to celebrate my Dad's birthday. Dementia makes him forget his birthday, but I won't.

Thanks,

Patricia L Morris

Random Winner 

@ErinMFeldman @yuvizalkow = example of a brilliant storyteller. Interesting that his videos started as way to deal with presentation anxiety

The short explanation for the contest result is this: Instead of one winner, I've selected three random winners. @MSchechter , @Patricia L Morris , and @flowerpotsun . Please use the contact form on my website or email me at yuvi {{at}} yuvizalkow {{dot}} com and send me the mailing address where you'd like me to send the book and the iTunes gift card.

The longer explanation: I used a random number generator (http://andrew.hedges.name/experiments/random/original.html) online to pick a value between 1 and 9 since there were nine unique commenters. The first value it turned up was Michael Schechter. Which in a way is great because he has been giving me a lot of good advice lately about various things. But then I felt like --- wait a second, maybe someone will think I loaded the dice for this result. So I had the number generator pick an additional winner. And it picked Patricia L Morris. She gave me good advice from a different angle that was also worthy of a gift. But then I also noticed that Lisa Ahn tweeted about this blog post -- a kind of thing I'm often too dumb to do myself, so I thought perhaps I should give her a prize as well. And of course I wanted to give everyone a prize, but I'm out of galleys for my book (and out of budget for iTunes gift cards!). I hope this doesn't offend the other fabulous commenters: Oksanna, Marva, James, Bianca, Erin, Richard. I appreciate all your feedback as well.

I'm still processing how to proceed with regard to public readings and my videos and I'll give an update as I figure this out more coherently.

Wow! Some great feedback so far. Thank you all for the helpful words... both to those that mentioned specific videos and to those that gave me advice about readings and presentations and public speaking in general. I'm flattered that you'd drop by and say a few words...

I vote #10 and #11, although I also liked the blogging video with Marilyn Manson, that was sharp and funny if it relates to the reading.

Good luck! Great idea to use video!!!

-Oksanna

Hey Yuvi,

It's James Ducat.

I was gonna vote for #13, AKA the Scrivener Screed, because it is good (and true).

Ultimately though, based on your criteria, I chose #10 - Big Projects, Small Lists. I have many reasons. Feel free to stop reading these reasons at any point.

1. You consider a topic that writers and non-writers can appreciate.

2. Although the idea (making lists) is not new, you go into just the right amount of detail regarding types of lists and managing those lists to make it helpful without being overburdensome.

3. I love the old school typeface.

4. And the ASCII art.

5. I think I need more reasons to justify the earlier use of the word "many."

6. It encouraged me to make lists, such as this one.

Best of luck. Any video you choose will be great.

Dear Yuvi,

While I love your videos, I only want to watch them IF they are relevant to the presentation.

I have been thinking alot about writer's presentations, they typically suck. I have been impressed lately with two presenters- one randy jacobs <weslowhiskey@shaw.ca> who memorized this poem which had many sounds in it. This reminded me why I wanted to hear to rather than read it myself.

If language is a virus

then let me be sick with words

Brickitickatickibaaaaa

Feverish as a solar powered camel

raised on lagadadalia filibuster brownies and

rooo tooo tooo dooo bach a naileeyaaan

tonsil tribes chanting mass adorations

to the cancer lip mystics sweltering in my belly

afflicted with the zim zam oratomes

of cortisone squash regaling hoist grievous

from atop the wing tips of grand mammy ketchup’s

scab coated mountains.

This scattered vernacular is in my blood so

tonflicate your placebo linguistics

in the dim sum orchards and

let the mingo tushy hank meat go fink boodlin’

with Captain Kangaroo’s mimby

Put away your ointments!

Burn down your pharmacies of lard!

Keep me incurable! Maintain my disease!

beetle lick koink koink koink dinky whoop

This is my underground tunnel

my contravational gardenia, my Rabelais babble

attempting to scrabble reassemble

the raw sausage slip knot of kaboodle’s noozle

when scrotal vati-chori  brandishing

rancid hyper-dermics doused my diorama

in timbit viagra inoculating me with a silence

that stole my

[v     o     I     c     e]

That’s as clear as it’s gonna get

it’s all the brainwashing will allow

a few skim pimple ramblings pining for

the truth

is a fish, a roadrunner,

a Jehosaphat lip magician buried

beneath a suburb of menstrual log cabins

leaving me often incomprehensible

as sign language in the dark;

but I pray to my horse caller

all the pain that you carry might turn you interpreter,

translating my own grim sickle dollop

into a bridal touche

Offer me your neck, I’ll give you my tongue

and the stuttering ducks of your gimp-ed vox

will turn into velveteen szechuan.

We’ll become winsome church hill turnstiles

slow dancing infections into the mouths of our gods

So if language is a virus

let us be sick with words

creating a blue cholera hyperbiblic

we can call our own.

A laisse fair dinkum picnicnicpic

where we get to play

pin the tall tale ya

on the glossalallia

until all that destroys us is

dissolved

chor leavey nort twilling

the ajuncter phiblic

twit biddler

feck feck

feck feck

feck feck

gawwwwwwwww

The second presenter , Dennis E. Bolen has Soressa Gardner, a new age music partner accompany his readings. I can definitely imagine a whining violin (in a good sense) behind some of your presentation. 

Good luck. 

I'm a fan of the video with the elephant. I'm awful with remembering the titles, so I hope that's enough information.

I wish I were on the West Coast, too. I'd come to a reading. Best of luck, Yuvi!

@Lisa_Ahn thanks Lisa! I’m so dumb about getting the word out!… so thanks for the help.

I vote for "Fresh Ways to Look at Your Crappy Writing" or "10,000 Hours" -- but I'm a fan of all the videos. Good luck! I wish I were on the West Coast so I could cheer you on, or make goofy faces from the audience. 

Since you're mean and won't release the book already so I can read it, I have to guess at which would be best... Jerk... Anyhow, the obvious answer is the trailer, but I think I’m A Failed Writer #7: Failing As A Failed Failure would be a good one. It's always been one of my favorites, isn't geeky and should be relatable to just about anyone except those who are too young to know what a cassette tape is... 

Public speaking is a common anxiety. I speak in front of an audience frequently for my work, but it's always a nervous time. I find that it lessons the anxiety to speak as if I was simply having a conversation with someone. If you can find ways to pose questions and get the audience involved it becomes more of a conversation as opposed to a public speech.