yuvi

failed writer, schmo

in my head (video)

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Who wants to watch a ten-minute video about chronic pain and headaches!? Of course you do!

In this latest video, I walk you through the experience of having a nine-month headache… I’ve been a little bit obsessed with trying to think about (and talk about) the suffering associated with chronic pain. And so I made this delightful romp into my headache saga. I actually do intend it to be entertaining to watch, regardless of whether you can relate – at the very least, it’ll be easier to digest than a presidential debate.

This video will also be used as a quasi-valid excuse for why I haven’t responded much on social media, or gone to many social events, or been productive at my creative projects in 2015, or for how I failed in all the other ways. Enjoy!

Check out all my videos on my YouTube channel.

S3-31: It was a good marriage, but…

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In this podcast episode, we begin our quest into this season’s relationship. Meet Nikki. She was mostly happy in her marriage, but there was one thing missing. Listen to the episode to find out what she was looking for…

Neurotic Tornado Episode Audio
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16: New Frontiers of Vulnerability

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In this podcast episode, my wife and I discuss vulnerability, shame, and my own craziness. We talk about Brené Brown’s research and we talk about the essay I recently published. Join us for this delightfully vulnerable romp.


Things we discuss this episode:

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12: Marrying an Insecure Angsty Depressive

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In this podcast episode, I talk to my wife about what it is like to be married to an insecure, angst-ridden, depressed person. Is it as sexy as it sounds? I was particularly insecure and full of anxiety in the first few years of our relationship and we talk about how that impacted our relationship. Join us for this delightful romp!

By the way, my podcast name has changed to Neurotic Tornado. Sorry. Again. I just think this name more appropriately fits the content these days. You don’t have to do anything differently for this change to take effect (i.e. same feed), but just know that when you tell your depressed, angsty, insecure friends about this show, you should tell them to search for “Neurotic Tornado” in their podcast app instead of my previous failed podcast names.


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10: Our Couples Counselors

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In this podcast episode, the wife and I take you on a tour of every one of our couples counselors. What could be more arousing than analyzing a whole bunch of analysts?


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8: Our Dark Periods

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In this episode, I talk to my wife about our “dark period.” Actually, she clarified for me that we have had several dark periods – these are periods in our marriage where we have really struggled to connect, nearly to the point of it all falling apart. Not only do we talk about our dark periods, but we talk about my obsession about talking about our dark periods. And we talk about my (previous) fear of having kids. What’s not to like?


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7: Never Good Enough

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In this episode, I bully my wife onto the show. Listen to her talk about my various failings as a husband. Everything from my failures as a lawn mower-er to my inability to plan trips with the family to our combined attraction for Angel, the brooding vampire with a soul from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What’s not to like?


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tctpod-season1-02: The second big thing (with Scott Sparling)

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In this podcast episode, I talk with Scott Sparling about the challenges of writing the second book. We talk about bringing a work-in-progress into your heart when it wasn't born in the heart. We talk about the egomaniacalness of comparing your work to the Beatles. We discuss the pros and cons of having a deadline for your writing project. We discuss bad book sales, writing in tree houses, stones on the beach, delusions of grandeur, depression, tenacity, stubbornness, and masturbating while writing. Enjoy!

Show notes:

Video inspired by the conversation

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tctpod-season1-01: The depressing episode (with Telaina Eriksen)

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In this podcast episode, I get to talk to my friend Telaina Eriksen about how she is able to write about grief and loss and death in her essays. I first met Telaina in 2008 when we both were in the Antioch University low-residency MFA program. I’ve been wanting to ask her about how she gets to these difficult places in her writing for a few years now, and this so-called podcast thingy gave me the chance… Join us for this delightful romp through grief and loss and death.

Show notes:

Video inspired by the conversation

Meta links:

Link to audio

My Hilarious Depression

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I like to tell people—uncomfortably early in the conversation—how I’ve had three times more therapists than lovers. When someone asks me why I stopped responding to email communication for two weeks, or why I disappeared from Facebook for three months, I might say that I was busy weeping under my desk while curled up in the fetal position. I tell people that I can’t go out on Wednesday because I’m scheduling that night to bathe in a tub full of gin and self-loathing. Or that I can’t go out to lunch because I’d like to dwell on the accumulation of my failures. I can’t make it to the party on Friday night because I am too upset about being unable to masturbate due to an overwhelming sensation of self-disgust.

There are some exaggerations here. I occasionally just go for a cheap laugh at my pathetic persona’s expense. But every one of those excuses stems from a truth about an emotion that I know well…

To read the rest of my essay, check it out at lunchticket.org/my-hilarious-depression.

This issue has some stunning poems by Gayle Brandeis, an interview with Susan Orlean, a great piece of nonfiction from Lisa Romeo, and much more. Particular thanks to Lise Quintana, who is the fabulous editor for that site.

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