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a multi-creative in the attic (video)

June 28, 2020 by yuvi

I’ve always struggled with being monogamous when it comes to my creative outlets. I’ve been writing for most of my adult life, but I also dabble with YouTube videos and making apps and making music (sort of) and various other activities. I used to focus on the downsides to working on so many different pursuits (and there are plenty of downsides!), but this video is about me accepting (and maybe kinda sorta embracing) this quality. (I also do about 12 seconds of research and find out that there’s already a name for this quality. But since I don’t like the name, I made up a new name…)

Check out my recent Writer Unboxed post for more info about this subject.

Filed Under: videos Tagged With: geek, I’m-a-failed-writer, novels, publishing, tools, writing

Writing a Novel When You’re Too Busy to Write a Novel (video)

February 4, 2020 by yuvi

In a blog post about my forthcoming novel, I claimed that I’d pull together a video about writing the novel. Well, here it is. It’s under five minutes, but it still required 1060 bad drawings, some background music that I created on my iPad, and one video of me sitting on the toilet. Oy!

[Read more…]

Filed Under: videos Tagged With: geek, I'm-a-failed-writer, publishing, writing

a story about mistakenly writing (and publishing) a novel as a way to take a break from writing another novel

December 11, 2019 by yuvi

I know what I'm doingI recently got news that my book (my second novel!) is going to be published by Red Hen Press. I’m totally excited to work with such a great press—I’ve been following them for a long time, and most recently I loved reading Sugar Land by Tammy Lynne Stoner. But this isn’t about me awkwardly showing off about my book and this press, at least not yet. Today I want to look at the process of actually writing a book in the middle of a busy life with family, a day job, side projects, whining, and chronic pain. When a book goes out in the world and you’re holding it (or its digital equivalent) in your hands, it’s easy to think that writing the book was just this one coherent thing the author had to do, but writing a book is chaotic and confusing and has to somehow fit inside a busy, messy life. And I enjoy (for some reason) analyzing how to jam a writing process into this life. I don’t have a magic formula, but I have a process (sorta), and thought it would be fun(ish) to talk about it.

This is a longer-than-usual blog post, so strap in! (As a bonus, I added section titles and stick figure drawings to ease the burden…)

About the Story Origin

Around five years ago, I was chugging along on a novel that was a pain in the ass for me to finish—it was a big, mEsSy, spRawLing piece of historical fiction and I couldn’t quite bring it together. On top of that, I was struggling at my day job at a social collaboration software company and struggling with my connection to family and friends. Basically, I was miserable. During this time, I went out with my fabulous friend Anne and was telling her about my difficult-to-write novel. She isn’t one to pretty something up if that something isn’t pretty, so she said to me, “This book is toxic to you. I see it on your face.” Writing is hard I used this exact line in the short story I started writing later that night (a line spoken from a character uncreatively named Anne). The story was about dating, divorce, family, parenting, and all the ways that we’re connected (but often not connected) with humans… in this era when we’re hyper-connected to our devices. This story shot right out of me in a few days.

So, OK, fine, whatever, I had a fun short story on my hands. I thought that was that. Maybe I’d try and get the little thing published in a lit magazine, and get back to that difficult novel.

I sent the story to my agent without expecting her to do anything with it, but she said, “This thing sounds like the beginning of a novel.” She also told me that it sounded like I was having a great time writing it. And it was a blast to write. Instead of doing the things I was supposed to do, like working at my day job and doing chores around the house and writing that other book, I was cheating on all those things with this fabulous one-night stand of a short story. (FYI, I’m happily married… the metaphor only applies to book writing!)

Always two thingsIf I were to fake some sort of takeaway here, I think it’s just that I like to be working on at least two different creative things at a time, so that I have a way to take a break from one project by working on the other project. This is a tricky balance (especially with a full-time day job and other responsibilities) because you don’t want to overload yourself with too many side projects and end up getting fired alongside having fifteen crappy, unfinished stories on your hands.

On Writing a Novel Draft Quickly

I was annoyed (but maybe also flattered) at the prospect of having another novel on my hands. This was supposed to be a fun little place to vent, not a new tedious project. But as I walked around with this new (slightly annoying) notion, I actually started getting excited about where the novel might go. I even made a ten-step list (which I can no longer find!) of what I thought would happen in this novel. A very simplified, very high-level roadmap of a novel, with a rough hero’s journey arc in there.

So, OK, fine, whatever, maybe this damn thing could be a novel after all. Now I needed to figure out how to turn it into a novel when I didn’t have time for this new challenge.

Working person's residencyI took a week off of work and I left my house for the week and I wrote. The mornings were my main writing sessions… I wrote for about 3-4 hours at a cafe each morning until I reached my quota. Which was in the vicinity of 5000 words a day. These weren’t pretty words. I wasn’t scrutinizing the details. I intentionally glossed over things. And that horrible cafe chair was brutal on my back and neck and shoulders… But regardless of the obstacles, I wrote a lot.

In the evenings, I scanned over what I wrote, taking notes about what I wanted to fix later and making sure I knew where I was heading the next day so I could get a running (or at least a fast limping) start the next morning.

At the end of the week, I had a 30,000-word messy novel (novella?) on my hands.

It took about a year to turn it into a proper first draft, but still, in one week, I had the bones of a novel!

If I were to fake another takeaway here, I think it’s that even with a full-time day job, it’s still totally possible to write a book, but sometimes, at certain phases of the process (especially at the beginning or the end of drafts), it’s critical to disappear from the world for at least several days so you can immerse yourself in the story.

On Revising the Novel

Maybe I had the bones of a novel after a week, but it was still missing the flesh and the blood vessels and the organs and the connective tissue (have I destroyed this metaphor yet!?).

So, OK, fine, whatever, it wasn’t ready for the world yet. I’d need to figure out how to beat this story into shape. But I liked this story and I was (mostly) emotionally prepared to see it through.

First step was that I organized my notes (about what needed to be fixed in the novel) from my writing getaway. I cleaned up the notes and came up with a plan.

Then, I just wrote every week. I know some writers say that “real writers” need to write every day. I think that’s bullshit. But at the same time, I know that my little brain can’t easily fit a whole novel inside there, so I do need to keep a novel-in-progress in my consciousness as much as possible—in the shower, on bike rides, when I’m going to bed, while waiting in line at the grocery store. I had roughly two big (2-4 hour) writing sessions a week, along with about three or four smaller (around 1 hour) writing sessions a week.

(Dealing with chronic pain adds another level of messiness to the process. I already talked about that in my video about writing with chronic pain. Quick summary: lower your expectations, but don’t stop.)

All this writing crap takes discipline and motivation. I know some writers who talk about how they love writing, but not me. I think writing sucks (at least a lot of the time). And writing a whole novel REALLY sucks. Some days, I believe that it takes something like a mental illness to keep at it day after day. It also takes some reminders (either from within, or from others) that you are doing this for a good(ish) reason. (For me, I think the reason is a desire to connect with other humans through storytelling. Your mileage may vary.) One of the most valuable things for me to keep at it is to be part of a writing group that I love. We meet every week for about two hours. Help from my friends This group keeps me committed to the practice every week. I feel guilty if I don’t bring something to the table. They provide emotional support, they remind me why I need to tell the story I’m trying to tell, and they also challenge me when I’m not reaching as high as I can reach. This balance is critical. I wouldn’t want a group that was nothing but a love fest, but I also wouldn’t want a group that was critical just for the sake of being critical. The group should care about you, but also want your story to be the best version of this story that it can be.

It took me a year to have a “real” first draft and another year to get it to a point where I was ready to shop it around.

At the end of each draft, I’d get a few trusted readers to read my book and give me feedback. My wife is a bad ass at this process. My agent is also amazing at helping make it better. I can rely on a few friends to read a novel draft and give me feedback as well. Similar to the writing group, the ideal reader wants to make the story as good as it can be.

The semi-takeaway here is that I am not capable of writing a book in isolation. (More power to you if you’re different…) I need a kind-hearted community that can help me serve my story. (And, in turn, I try and help others in the same way.)

On Finding a Publisher

I love rejectionFinding a publisher is definitely not my favorite part. For my first book, I found a publisher on my own. For my second book, my agent (bless her! ❤️️) found a publisher. In both cases, rejections did not feel good. Even worse, spending time thinking about what the “market” wants can very nearly kill my creative soul. On the other hand, the publishing world is still full of people who love stories. And I love talking with people who love stories… the agents, the editors, the publishers… it’s just fabulous to talk about stories. (One senior editor even spent six months working with me—on his own time—to improve my book just because he liked it so much, even when his publishing house wasn’t willing to take the chance on it. That’s a pretty cool world to be in. Good luck finding someone who will work with you on your taxes just because they think your taxes are interesting…)

So, OK, fine, whatever, the publishing biz is a big scary mess, but it’s a damn fine feeling to find a publisher that is excited about this story you’ve been working on for so many hours across the months and years.

Got to the end

I hope some of this was interesting or useful. This story is to be continued. Also, I’m aiming to create a video about the process of writing a novel based on what I learned from this particular novel… Hopefully it’ll take me less than five years to make this video.

By the way, I’m back to writing that “difficult-to-write” book and it doesn’t feel so difficult these days. (Shhhhh!… Don’t mess up this short-lived groove!)

Filed Under: words Tagged With: emoticons, literary, novels, publishing

Darth Vader and the Lemon

July 9, 2019 by yuvi

A short story of mine (Darth Vader and the Lemon) was just published in Carve Magazine. It’s a story about the complexities of step-parenting, and it’s full of bad metaphors about Star Wars. The oldest draft of this story that I can find on my computer goes all the way back to May of 2009. That’s more than 10 years ago! In those first few years, I was really excited about the story, and I even spoke with editors at The Sun and The New Yorker who liked the story, but these conversations didn’t ever result in a publication. At some point (at least five years ago), I abandoned the story after getting too much conflicting and confusing feedback.

I picked up the story again this year when my wife and my agent both mentioned it in passing in the same week. I had fond feelings about this dead story and so I dug it up. It was refreshing to pick it up after so many years — I could read it like an outsider, like I wasn’t the one who wrote it. I saw some spots where the story strayed unnecessarily from the general theme and tone. I also saw spots where I could beef up the connections. But most importantly, I still liked the story.

After getting back into the headspace of this story (which took a few readings), I began working on it again. Tightening it, making it more focused, while still keeping the charm and silliness of the voice. And then I sent it out again. And then Carve accepted it. Carve is a fabulous literary magazine with issues both in print and online.

Anyway, what’s the point of this blog post (other than testing out to see if I still remember how to blog)? I guess I learned that putting a story away isn’t a bad thing. Maybe it’s just time to take a break. The story may be dead. But maybe it isn’t. I find it useful to look back into the vault to see if there’s something in there that still has a charge to it… sparks joy is the overly trending term for this phenomenon, but whatever it’s called, you know it when you feel it.

Here’s an excerpt:

I move the Darth Vader action figure next to the lemon on the kitchen table where I’m sitting with my ten-year-old stepson. It’s breakfast. Which means I cooked him fried eggs and forgot to make myself anything. But I’ve got Darth Vader and a lemon. My stepson looks at me in that way he can look at me when I’m being me at my most me.

I got him the Darth Vader action figure as a Valentine’s Day gift because I knew it might sway him toward the original movies. I refuse to talk about any of the movies that came after that first trilogy. I tell him that the new movies are worse than bags of poo. My stepson tolerates my obsessions because of my accessible metaphors and because I bribe him with high-quality action figures.

I start breathing all Darth Vadery. I move Darth Vader up to the lemon. With my best attempt at a James Earl Jones voice, I say, “You have failed me for the last time, lemon.”

Vader’s movements are awkward—even though he is Dark Lord of the Sith, he is also only three inches tall—and so the lemon is watching carefully for weaknesses, in case it comes to that.

“That’s MY Darth Vader,” my stepson says. And he takes away the key character in my scene.

Read the rest in Carve Magazine…

Filed Under: words Tagged With: publications, publishing, writing

On publishing stuff at medium.com…

August 28, 2014 by yuvi

So I’ve been re-publishing a few of my published stories on medium.com this month. Medium can be described as many things, but one thing it is… is a site that looks beautiful where people can self-publish their writing. It has been on my mind to do this, because many websites – even sites that post amazing content – are not so pretty. Either they are poorly designed or they have intrusive advertising or something else. I have no grand plans here, I just thought it would be fun to post some of my favorite stories on this uncluttered site so a few people could read and enjoy them. Or at least if they don’t enjoy them – it is entirely my fault. So here they are, in case you want to check them out. Most are quite short…

when my body smashed into the sidewalk my last thought was this: i should have bought my mother a birthday present…
— WHEN MY BODY SMASHED INTO THE SIDEWALK on medium.com
it was hot that day, sitting in the backseat of our mother’s car in the piggly wiggly parking lot. she was in the grocery store. she had told us, “don’t talk to a soul,” before she left…
— HEAVEN on medium.com
“let’s go bowling,” she says. “i know a place that has guardrails so you can’t roll a gutter ball.” your first thought is, “aren’t those for children?” but then you realize that a man as nervous as you are should accept all the guardrails that he can get…
— BLUE on medium.com
first thing you should know about me: i’m into buses. the 57 is bumpy and dreary and it twists you out of the beautiful belly of portland and into the strip mall nightmare of beaverton. i used to take that one to get to work. but now i’m free of that job…
— GOD AND BUSES on medium.com

more stories and essays…

Filed Under: words Tagged With: literary, publications, publishing, writing

16: New Frontiers of Vulnerability

May 26, 2014 by yuvi

In this podcast episode, my wife and I discuss vulnerability, shame, and my own craziness. We talk about Brené Brown’s research and we talk about the essay I recently published. Join us for this delightfully vulnerable romp.

https://s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/anchor-audio-bank/staging/2018-6-4/3484816-44100-1-a34943b7fd262.mp3

Things we discuss this episode:

  • Brené Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability
  • Brené Brown’s TED talk on shame
  • Brené Brown’s home page
  • My essay on parenting: His First Dress
Podcast Information
  • Find out more about this series
  • Are you listening to this from within your browser? There’s a better way! Check out Yuvi’s video tutorial.
  • Download the show directly
  • Subscribe in iTunes
  • Get the feed URL

Filed Under: podcast Tagged With: depression, neurotic-tornado, publishing, relationships, wife

Taking Risks (failvid-15)

January 16, 2014 by yuvi

The idea of taking a risk has been on my mind lately. In particular, I’ve been thinking about those risks people take that don’t necessarily end with a fabulous success story. So here’s a video about it.

You can subscribe to my second-rate blog either by email or RSS.

Filed Under: videos Tagged With: geek, I'm-a-failed-writer, novels, publishing, writing

vid002: From head to heart

September 8, 2013 by yuvi

In this video, I fixate on one particular topic: Scott’s quest to turn his second book (a novel in progress) into a deeper story. And more generally: can you turn something formulaic (and in your head) into something deeper (and in your heart)?

Not only is Scott smart, he’s also funny. So you’ll notice that I can’t help but giggle through a lot of Scott’s stories. Sorry.

Regarding the making of this video: I forced myself to create it mostly through still shots with my iPhone (while also learning how to crudely edit video in Final Cut Pro!) just to make things awkward for me (and maybe for you too). Hope you enjoy it just the same…

Thanks again to all those who submitted hug photos. I hope I did those great photos justice.

Related links:

  • Complete audio conversation
  • Scott Sparling’s website

For more information about this half-baked series (and how to subscribe to it), check out The Creative Turn.

Filed Under: videos Tagged With: editing, interviews, literary, publishing, revisions, the-creative-turn, writing

tctpod-season1-02: The second big thing (with Scott Sparling)

August 25, 2013 by yuvi

In this podcast episode, I talk with Scott Sparling about the challenges of writing the second book. We talk about bringing a work-in-progress into your heart when it wasn't born in the heart. We talk about the egomaniacalness of comparing your work to the Beatles. We discuss the pros and cons of having a deadline for your writing project. We discuss bad book sales, writing in tree houses, stones on the beach, delusions of grandeur, depression, tenacity, stubbornness, and masturbating while writing. Enjoy!

Show notes:

  • Scott Sparling's website
  • Wire to Wire by Scott Sparling
  • An article that Scott referenced before the conversation about Reynolds Price's take on publishing a first novel: “…you publish the damn thing and nothing happens. You’re the same social misfit and compulsive masturbator you always were.”
  • Sgt. Pepper's and Jimi Hendrix on iTunes
  • A Brilliant Novel in the Works by Yuvi Zalkow
  • My Failed Writer video called “Failing as a Failed Failure” relates to what we discuss at 42m:53s of the podcast where Scott gives me a quick therapy session on how my dysfunctional world view might help the writing.

Video inspired by the conversation

Meta links:

  • Find out more about this series (and how to subscribe)
  • Yuvi's overview to podcasts and podcatchers
  • Download the show directly
  • Subscribe in iTunes
  • Get the podcast feed URL

Filed Under: z podcast archive Tagged With: depression, interviews, literary, novels, publishing, the-creative-turn, writing

17.5% less sucky

August 18, 2013 by yuvi

The week that John Gruber and Merlin Mann linked to my video tribute of their SXSW conversation, I started getting (temporarily) 8,000 hits a day on my website. As opposed to the previous 50 hits a day. I don’t count these things too closely, but it was a shocking change. I’ve had a few other notable spikes in attention. Once for writing about my Twitter code of conduct, once for talking about my failures with the New Yorker magazine, and once for talking about my failure to read Malcolm Gladwell’s book that discusses 10,000 hours.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because numbers are tricky. [Read more…]

Filed Under: words Tagged With: literary, novels, publishing, the-creative-turn, writing

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