Writing

Novels

I ONLY CRY WITH EMOTICONS (Red Hen Press, 2022) —>

My boss tells me it’s embarrassing that I’ve been here for six years and I’m still at Goldfish status. Ever since we installed the gamification plug-in, he knows exactly how many Likes I’ve gotten from coworkers, exactly how many Comments I’ve made, exactly how many Best Answers and Virtual Pints of Beer I’ve received. He even knows how many animated cat gifs I’ve giffed, which is 0. I’m a Goldfish even though some six-monthers have already leveled up to Penguin. My boss is a Blue Whale...

A BRILLIANT NOVEL IN THE WORKS (MP Publishing, 2012) —>

When my wife comes into the room and sees me in my underwear, with my $30 pen in my fist, and standing on my desk, she isn’t terribly impressed with me and my work habits...

Published Stories & Essays

Here are some highlights from my favorite short pieces that have been published over the years…

QUESTIONS TO ASK ADELA (story published in Flash Fiction Magazine) —>

I was only twenty-five and didn’t understand grief. How it twisted its way into life. My dad was visiting me in Portland for a week. Mom had called the week before and said, “Your father is being a nudnick. I’m sending him to you.” They lived in Atlanta. I could hear in the background my father yelling, “I’m not a fucking package.”

ON WRITING WITH CHRONIC MIGRAINES (essay published in Catapult Magazine) —>

It’s hard to explain chronic pain to someone who doesn’t experience it, the way the physical pain blurs together with the psychological toll it takes. I mean, the actual pain is plenty painful—sometimes so bad that it’s hard to want to live. But a lot of the time it’s more about the accumulation of the pain. It’s like listening to that leaf blower outside that isn’t too annoying for one minute but grows maddening after two hours. It’s hard to imagine that the leaf blower will ever stop. Or when it does stop for a moment, you’re just brooding, worrying, waiting for that asshole to start it up again.

DARTH VADER AND THE LEMON (story originally published in Carve Magazine) —>

I move the Darth Vader action figure next to the lemon on the kitchen table where I’m sitting with my ten-year-old stepson. It’s breakfast. Which means I cooked him fried eggs and forgot to make myself anything. But I’ve got Darth Vader and a lemon... I start breathing all Darth Vadery. I move Darth Vader up to the lemon. With my best attempt at a James Earl Jones voice, I say, “You have failed me for the last time, lemon.”

WHEN MY BODY SMASHED INTO THE SIDEWALK (story originally published in Carve Magazine) —>

When my body smashed into the sidewalk my last thought was this: I should have bought my mother a birthday present. Her birthday was the day before my jump and I didn’t even call her. I had seen the blackest blue necklace at the jewelry store storefront on the way to work but I didn’t have a chance to get it for her. I should have thought ahead...

HEAVEN (story originally published in Verdad Magazine) —>

It was hot that day, sitting in the backseat of our mother's car in the piggly wiggly parking lot. She was in the grocery store. She had told us, “Don’t talk to a soul,” before she left. She said it to us with her long index finger nearly in our face. That finger with the crooked joint...

GOD AND BUSES (story originally published in Glimmer Train) —>

First thing you should know about me: I’m into buses. The 57 is bumpy and dreary and it twists you out of the beautiful belly of Portland and into the strip mall nightmare of Beaverton. I used to take that one to get to work. But now I’m free of that job...

BLUE (story originally published in Narrative Magazine) —>

“Let’s go bowling,” she says. “I know a place that has guardrails so you can’t roll a gutter ball.” Your first thought is, “Aren’t those for children?” But then you realize that a man as nervous as you are should accept all the guardrails that he can get...

And below, you’ll find a disorganized-but-somewhat-complete list of all my short fiction and essays.