–> Tell me about Yuvi’s forthcoming novel (I Only Cry with Emoticons)
–> Tell me about Yuvi’s published novel (A Brilliant Novel in the Works)
–> Tell me about Yuvi’s stories and essays
Novels
My boss tells me it’s embarrassing that I’ve been here for six years and I’m still at Goldfish status. Ever since we installed the gamification plug-in, he knows exactly how many Likes I’ve gotten from coworkers, exactly how many Comments I’ve made, exactly how many Best Answers and Virtual Pints of Beer I’ve received. He even knows how many animated cat gifs I’ve giffed, which is 0. I’m a Goldfish even though some six-monthers have already leveled up to Penguin. My boss is a Blue Whale…
— I ONLY CRY WITH EMOTICONS (Coming Soon!)
— I ONLY CRY WITH EMOTICONS (Coming Soon!)
When my wife comes into the room and sees me in my underwear, with my $30 pen in my fist, and standing on my desk, she isn’t terribly impressed with me and my work habits…
— A BRILLIANT NOVEL IN THE WORKS (Published in 2012)
— A BRILLIANT NOVEL IN THE WORKS (Published in 2012)
Published Stories and Essays
I move the Darth Vader action figure next to the lemon on the kitchen table where I’m sitting with my ten-year-old stepson. It’s breakfast. Which means I cooked him fried eggs and forgot to make myself anything. But I’ve got Darth Vader and a lemon… I start breathing all Darth Vadery. I move Darth Vader up to the lemon. With my best attempt at a James Earl Jones voice, I say, “You have failed me for the last time, lemon.”
— DARTH VADER AND THE LEMON
— DARTH VADER AND THE LEMON
When my body smashed into the sidewalk my last thought was this: I should have bought my mother a birthday present. Her birthday was the day before my jump and I didn’t even call her. I had seen the blackest blue necklace at the jewelry store storefront on the way to work but I didn’t have a chance to get it for her. I should have thought ahead…
— WHEN MY BODY SMASHED INTO THE SIDEWALK
— WHEN MY BODY SMASHED INTO THE SIDEWALK
It was hot that day, sitting in the backseat of our mother’s car in the piggly wiggly parking lot. She was in the grocery store. She had told us, “Don’t talk to a soul,” before she left. She said it to us with her long index finger nearly in our face. That finger with the crooked joint…
— HEAVEN
— HEAVEN
First thing you should know about me: I’m into buses. The 57 is bumpy and dreary and it twists you out of the beautiful belly of portland and into the strip mall nightmare of Beaverton. I used to take that one to get to work. But now I’m free of that job…
— GOD AND BUSES
— GOD AND BUSES
“Let’s go bowling,” she says. “I know a place that has guardrails so you can’t roll a gutter ball.” Your first thought is, “Aren’t those for children?” But then you realize that a man as nervous as you are should accept all the guardrails that he can get…
— BLUE
— BLUE
Read more of my stories and essays here.